Don't Save the Good Stuff

Growing up, we didn't have guest china and everyday china. We had one set. My Father purchased it at Harrods of London on a trip to Europe and hand carried the precious (and crushingly heavy) boxes back on the plane. The dishes were beautiful- white porcelain with delicate gold edges, sumptuously decorated with plums, grapes, peaches and berries. It was special stuff, but my parents didn't save it for special occasions or company. We used our fancy European china for cheerios and fillet mignon alike.

I think this is a healthy attitude to cultivate. If you love something, it is your duty to enjoy it. There is a contradictory idea that says If you love something, it is your duty to keep it safe. You don't want your prized china to break or chip, so you lock it up in a cupboard and only take it out for Christmas dinner.

When you lock something up in the cupboard, or leave it only for guests to use, you are saying to yourself either "I'm not good enough to use that." or "I'm afraid I will ruin it." or "Someday there will be a moment to use that, but it isn't today. " I think all of these ideas are nonsense. Let's tackle them one at a time.

"I'm not good enough to use that."

Um, yeah you are. You are full of memories, thoughts and hopes that are totally unique to you out of all the people on the planet earth. You are special and worthy of all of the pleasures that life has to offer. Don't turn all that down because of unfounded insecurities. The dishes are a metaphor for something much bigger.

As a side note, If it doesn't fit with your life, or intimidates you, pitch it. You own your possessions, not the other way around.

"I'm afraid I will ruin it."

When I was little, I broke my mother's crystal vase. I can't remember the circumstances (why was I playing with a vase?), but I do remember feeling nauseated with fear and worry. I was terrified of her reaction. I felt sure she'd be furious. When she discovered the shattered remnants, she frowned. I could tell she was disappointed. But then she sighed and said "Ah well. It's just stuff." and I was flooded with relief.

Stuff is just stuff. Someday you'll die and you can't take stuff with you, so you'd better enjoy it while you can. Yes, your china might chip when you use it everyday. But you gave it that chip while letting it fulfill it's intended purpose. Something that wears out because you have enjoyed it is much easier to let go of precisely because you got use from it. If you take that dish out of the china cupboard and it slips from your fingers and smashes on the floor on Christmas day, think how heartbroken you'd feel- you'd only used it twice before! But if you've enjoyed it day after day, you can shrug and say "It's just stuff."

"Someday there will be a moment to use that, but it isn't today. "

So here's the thing- you've can create special moments anytime you like. Pleasure isn't something you need to hoard. The more you practice enjoying it, the more it will flood into your life. If, on the other hand you treat pleasure and enjoyment as distant and fleeting, they will continue to be exactly that. Don't wait for some distant moment to enjoy the things you love that are right here now. Fill up that plate and dig in.

Clean out Your Closet, Then Shop in it!

It's supremely self indulgent to do a post on cleaning out my closet, but I have some rationalizations handy. It's seasonally pertinent (Haven't you heard of "Spring Cleaning"?) and it relates back to my urge to simplify and appreciate what I've already got.

One has to make space for good things in order to appreciate them. Surrounded by quantity, quality evaporates. Think about museums or fancy boutiques or five star hotels. They aren't crowded or cluttered with objects competing for your attention. They are usually spacious and airy. That is true luxury; the space to appreciate.

Before:

Not bad really. Just in a bit of disarray. (And, oh dear, yes those are undies on the floor. You got me.) But here's what happened. I rearranged the furniture in my office to accommodate a giant map of the world and ended up pulling out a shelving unit. Since my house & furniture are rented, I can't just cart things off to the Goodwill. I thought, "This piece is a lot prettier than the ugly plastic shelving I've got in the closet. And there's a second one hogging a corner of the guest room too!" So I hauled the plastic pieces out and put the bamboo ones in.

After:

My favorite part is having all my shoes on display like little pieces of art. It makes me happy to admire them every day- even those I don't wear much. And I don't want to add anything second rate to the collection. Anything new that comes in has to live up to the other pieces, you know? That's a great feeling.

Eric never really wears his ties, but now I can enjoy his collection anyway. There is something so wonderfully unnecessary about a tie. It's just for show and a splash of color.

Here's what I love. Stepping into my closet now feels like hitting a boutique for a spending spree. Shopping your closet is easier when everything is beautifully displayed. The big secret here was not buying more stuff, just weeding out the unwanted stuff (lots more than I thought!) and rearranging what I had to make my life a little nicer.

Here are my five favorite closet organizing tips:

1) Use only one color hanger. It sounds really anal, but it makes a huge difference visually. Your eye goes straight to the clothes instead of being distracted by a hodgepodge of hangers. One less thing for your brain to process as you choose what to wear. Definitely a good thing.

2) Sort garments by style and color. I have all my dresses in one section, then tops, then skirts and pants. Putting them in color order really makes me feel like I am playing in a giant paint box every morning.I also sort them further by how fancy they are. The things you use every day should be easy to reach, while special occasion things can go in corners.

3) Don't fall for the myth of more storage! Bins and baskets keep things looking tidy, but you will also forget what you have in them and end up buying more of what you already have. Out of sight out of mind goes double for closets. If you can't see it, you probably won't use it. (If you must, use clear containers. In my office, I'm a bin junkie! The shoe box sized bins are great for art supplies.) The real secret to organization is not the Container Store. It's taking a few trash bags to the Goodwill.

4) Go through your closet every six months. At least. Things wear out, or get pilled or just don't feel great any more. Pass them along to someone who can use and enjoy them.

5) Make room for what is really important to you. Edit out the things that make you feel frumpy or plump or dated. It will make room for things that make you feel good. A wardrobe of choices that you look great in will empower you to be your best.

My closet isn't Mariah's or Oprah's, but a girl has to have something to shoot for, after all. Have you done any de-cluttering this spring? What are you favorite de-junking tips?

DIY Wine Bottle Arrangements from your own Backyard

I'm not sure if it's Spring Cleaning, but lately I've just been interested in changing things up around here- to get a little fresh air moving through the house. I've been craving fresh flowers in a bad way- but having trouble plunking down $15 for the humiliated looking roses for sale around here. Then I remembered- I live in a tropical paradise!

I'd been saving some wine bottles for this DIY lamp project and just look at the extraordinary foliage growing right in my own backyard? Bonus- they last an eternity in cut flower years! The result here is very West Elm, no? I could have stopped, but you know Miss B. More is more in my book. I also have a few pyrex science beakers in the shop at the moment, so I thought I'd put 'em to use till someone snaps them up.

I added the turtle watercolor (the only piece of artwork that was originally in this house that I absolutely loved) and a few spun glass candle holders I had in another part of the house. So pleased with my little composition. It's feeling very lush, tropical and clean in here all of the sudden and I didn't spend one single penny. What's better than that?

This could work just as well with anything that's blooming in your neck of the woods- ferns, blooming branches, anything goes! Just make sure to very the height of the stems, the sizes of the containers and stick to odd numbers for maximum visual interest.

Have you made something new with something you had already? I'd love to hear all about it.

Reinventing Shoes with Costume Jewelery

Have you ever used shoe clips? I remember seeing them a lot as a kid- they usually involved grosgrain ribbon and big pearls edged in gold rope. Suffice it to say, they were not elegant. But, pick the right pair and inject a little whimsy into your wardrobe and freshen up a boring pair of shoes.

Forgive these "stupid pictures of feet". It's darn hard to take a photo of shoes you are wearing! These are vintage earrings that I didn't wear much, so I simply hot glued them to a pair of shoe clips and...

I think it makes these retro inspired heels (snagged on clearance at Target this summer for $6.95!) just right for spring. Here's to re-invention! Have you found new uses for old things lately?

I love my Erickson Beamon Lobster Necklace!

This lobster necklace has become one of the signature pieces in my wardrobe. I get comments on it all the time- probably because it's so eccentric- I dare anyone NOT to notice it! It's from the Erickson Beamon line for Target from this past summer.

When I first got it, I timidly paired it with a plain white tee, but now I'm finding myself wearing it with all my favorite sun dresses and even the wild tie dyed chiffon top above. Their regular line is way out of my budget, but I'm totally thrilled to have this charming fellow reeling in compliments for me.

Do you have a signature piece of jewelery? Or a favorite go to accessory?

What's in My Makeup Bag

Does In Style magazine still have the "What's In your Makeup Bag?" feature? My make-up bag isn't stuffed with expensive brands, nor does it benefit from a product stylist making it glossy worthy. However, there is a place for everything and every single item shown here (including all the lovely gift with purchases Momma D sends along! Merci!) gets regular use.

-Bronzer -far too dark for my face, I mix a few drops in my body lotion after a shower to even out the color on my legs. They are always inexplicably pasty, despite the increase in beach time since the move to HI.

-Foundation, cosmetic sponges, shadow brushes, brow brush

-Tweezerman- truly the best most precise grip ever, well worth the extra money.

-Eyelash curler-I once read that if you have no time for any other make-up, curling eyelashes and adding mascara has the most impact, and I'm a firm believer. Your eyes look so much bigger with a nice fan of lashes.

-Eyeshadow-I love purples and golds with my green eyes.

-Highlighting powder (cool way to eliminate dark spots or shadows, learned during that What Not to Wear binge I'd rather not recall in too much detail.)

-Instant up-do hair pins worn after our wedding ceremony for reception and now used to keep hair off neck in humid Hawaiian weather.

-Four lipsticks: nude, red, raspberry and pink- I'd love to add one of those very vivid peachy colors for spring- does anyone have a favorite to suggest?

-File, cuticle stick, nail scissors

-Peach Fuzz Trimmer(a brilliant invention for those witch whiskers that really do seem to grow in overnight from nowhere) and brow attachments

mascara, mineral blush and bronzer brush

Whew! I'm proud to say that even with all these goodies in my bag of tricks, it takes me less than five minutes to do my makeup each day. Do you have any favorites in your make up bag? What is your best make-up tip?

Moveable Art!

My studio has wonderful wall to wall ledges that make it easy to curate my art collection into fun new arrangements. I thought I'd share a recent assemblage, though it's already been changed up.

From top left:

A tiny postcard of very creepy animatronic bears to which I added gold stickers that read "Everyone thinks they have good taste." A quote from this scene in When Harry Met Sally, also known as The Romantic Comedy Against Which All Others Shall be Measured Until the End of Time.

A photo of my little friend Lou.

Another pithy poster that reads "It really Tied the Room Together", a quote from another of my favorite comedies, The Big Lebowski. It makes me giggle since it matches the wallpaper from my desk makeover and does, in fact, tie the room together.

Vintage Circus Playing Cards

Three framed book pages from the wonderful children's book The Saggy Baggy Elephant.

These wonderful paintings of Holly Golightly's apartment by the talented Fifi were a Christmas gift to myself. I can't get enough of them. P.S: This company does a replica of her signature bathtub sofa!

I hand painted the chorus to I Feel Pretty from the immortal musical West Side Story in script on a piece of charming vintage gift wrap for this poster. Are you sensing a theme here?

What kind of art do you have in your home? Which is your favorite?

Taking Journaling from Overwhelming to Inspiring

I've kept notebooks for organizational purposes since I was in gradeschool. I'm a compulsive list maker and I liked keeping them all in one place. But this summer, while purging for our move to Hawaii, I came upon a box packed with list notebooks. They had become a burden instead of a tool. I tore out pages where I was reflecting instead of listing, and tossed the rest. It felt great.

Since then, I've switched to making my obsessive lists on post-its that I toss at the end of the day. I think of it as tossing out the day's worries and cares. I'm striving to fill my journals with thoughts instead of to-dos. It's harder but more inspiring.

I've developed a ritual each night before bed. First, I sketch what I wore that day- juvenile but gratifying because it's about celebrating what I have. Then, I jot down what I ate that day- I've read that a food diary helps one maintain weight by making one more conscious of what one is eating. (Put good in, get good out, right?) And finally I write down one beautiful thing that I noticed, did or felt greatful for. Sometimes it's just a sentence or two and sometimes it turns into an outpouring of thoughts and feelings in a great wonderful tangle.

I wouldn't mind coming across a box full of beauty and gratitude years from now.

I don't get to my journal every night, but I try to be kind to myself and jump back in as soon as I can. I'd like to take it further by jotting down things as they happen throughout the day- I think it would be great fodder as a writer and artist because so many of those quick flashes of thought are lost by the end of the day. I keep my notebook stashed in my handbag just in case, but I haven't yet developed a good habit of pulling it out as something occurs to me.

What about you? Do you keep a journal? Do you have a ritual of your own? Do you refer back to your thoughts, or is the act of writing enough?

P.S) I've included this photo of all my beautiful blank journals to inpire myself to keep writing (I have all those lovely pages to fill!) and also as a reminder that I don't need any more until those are bursting at the seams with thoughts and ideas!

A Peek inside my Medicine Cabinet

Tell the truth, have you ever snuck a peek of someone's medicine cabinet? I quite like opening mine each morning. It's a little haven of order, color and luxurious beauty goodies. (The real secret is that Eric has his own. Banishing man stuff is key to a pretty medicine cabinet.)

The products in the bottom row are the only thing I've ever found to manage my adult acne. The regimen is a bit time consuming at first, but I highly recommend them.

Each of these teeny Mary Engelbright boxes (from the dollar section at Vile Michael's) holds tiny necessities; bobby pins, floss, advil and so forth. It makes poor E crazy since he can never find what he's looking for, but it looks so darn pretty, and I love the quotations. ("A place for everything and everything in it's place" fits the bill here, don't you think?)

I used those wonderful mighty magnetsto create a changing collage of images inside the door. The Hawaiian themed illustrations were a gift from my dear friend Lou on my departure from Minnesota this fall.

What's in your medicine cabinet? Feel like sharing a photo? Shoot me an e-mail: thefabulousmissbATgmailDOTcom

DIY Jewelery Organization

I'm a big believer in apparel as art and I love to display my collections. It's fun to see all the items grouped together (my baubles really do reflect my aesthetic sensibility). I wear things more often when I am looking at them all at once and I get to enjoy special occasion pieces every single day, even when I'm not wearing them.

I hung three of my DIY cork boards above the dresser and used shirt pins to hang each earring, necklace, bracelet and cocktail ring. I also love how those vintage sand paintings jive with the rest of our bedroom. They serendipitously matched the wall color, bedspread and vaguely Asian feel of the room just perfectly.

The Kate Spade disco ball bracelet was a Christmas gift from my Dad. Isn't it delightful? I'm wearing it all the time even though it's quite evening-y. (Pish Posh.) I wore the crystal flowers in the top right corner on our wedding day. I wear them pinned on my dress or in my hair to friend's weddings for good luck.

I flirted with that insane beaded lobster all summer before it went on sale and I finally snatched it up. As you can imagine, the kids at school adore it. He has two rhinestones for eyes.

What are your favorite pieces of jewelery? Which ones do you wear over and over?

DIY Backyard Centerpieces

We hosted an intimate gathering to ring in the New Year. It was a very low key affair, but we made it elegant nonetheless. I found some beautifully ripe tangerines with stems and leaves still attached at the supermarket and felt inspired to turn them into gorgeous (edible) centerpieces. When I arrived home, I spread the tables with white linen and collected all the candle holders from the house. I gathered ti leaves, rosemary and greenery from the backyard. The result was beautiful without being fussy or expensive. After the party was over, I composted the greens and we enjoyed the fruit during the first week of a brand new year.

This is the sort of thing I hope to share with you on this new blog. I want to be more inventive in using things I already own and discarding things that aren't useful to me or the life I want for myself. My hypothesis is that being choosier about what I buy will create more space in my life for creativity and living, instead of daydreaming about living, which is what shopping is for me.

Browsing, online and in person, turns my focus outward on what I don't have, instead of allowing me to look around at all the lovely things around me already. Shopping is a pleasurable way of peering into an imaginary future, which is not inherently bad. However, I'm feeling as if all the peeking into the future prevents me from being present in the moment. It is in this moment, right now, where I have the opportunity to lay the foundation for what the future will offer.

I hope you will join me in this exploration. I know we can learn from each other. Wishing you a wonderful New Year, filled with a limitless bounty that can't be found in any shop!