Don't Save the Good Stuff

Growing up, we didn't have guest china and everyday china. We had one set. My Father purchased it at Harrods of London on a trip to Europe and hand carried the precious (and crushingly heavy) boxes back on the plane. The dishes were beautiful- white porcelain with delicate gold edges, sumptuously decorated with plums, grapes, peaches and berries. It was special stuff, but my parents didn't save it for special occasions or company. We used our fancy European china for cheerios and fillet mignon alike.

I think this is a healthy attitude to cultivate. If you love something, it is your duty to enjoy it. There is a contradictory idea that says If you love something, it is your duty to keep it safe. You don't want your prized china to break or chip, so you lock it up in a cupboard and only take it out for Christmas dinner.

When you lock something up in the cupboard, or leave it only for guests to use, you are saying to yourself either "I'm not good enough to use that." or "I'm afraid I will ruin it." or "Someday there will be a moment to use that, but it isn't today. " I think all of these ideas are nonsense. Let's tackle them one at a time.

"I'm not good enough to use that."

Um, yeah you are. You are full of memories, thoughts and hopes that are totally unique to you out of all the people on the planet earth. You are special and worthy of all of the pleasures that life has to offer. Don't turn all that down because of unfounded insecurities. The dishes are a metaphor for something much bigger.

As a side note, If it doesn't fit with your life, or intimidates you, pitch it. You own your possessions, not the other way around.

"I'm afraid I will ruin it."

When I was little, I broke my mother's crystal vase. I can't remember the circumstances (why was I playing with a vase?), but I do remember feeling nauseated with fear and worry. I was terrified of her reaction. I felt sure she'd be furious. When she discovered the shattered remnants, she frowned. I could tell she was disappointed. But then she sighed and said "Ah well. It's just stuff." and I was flooded with relief.

Stuff is just stuff. Someday you'll die and you can't take stuff with you, so you'd better enjoy it while you can. Yes, your china might chip when you use it everyday. But you gave it that chip while letting it fulfill it's intended purpose. Something that wears out because you have enjoyed it is much easier to let go of precisely because you got use from it. If you take that dish out of the china cupboard and it slips from your fingers and smashes on the floor on Christmas day, think how heartbroken you'd feel- you'd only used it twice before! But if you've enjoyed it day after day, you can shrug and say "It's just stuff."

"Someday there will be a moment to use that, but it isn't today. "

So here's the thing- you've can create special moments anytime you like. Pleasure isn't something you need to hoard. The more you practice enjoying it, the more it will flood into your life. If, on the other hand you treat pleasure and enjoyment as distant and fleeting, they will continue to be exactly that. Don't wait for some distant moment to enjoy the things you love that are right here now. Fill up that plate and dig in.

What's in My Makeup Bag

Does In Style magazine still have the "What's In your Makeup Bag?" feature? My make-up bag isn't stuffed with expensive brands, nor does it benefit from a product stylist making it glossy worthy. However, there is a place for everything and every single item shown here (including all the lovely gift with purchases Momma D sends along! Merci!) gets regular use.

-Bronzer -far too dark for my face, I mix a few drops in my body lotion after a shower to even out the color on my legs. They are always inexplicably pasty, despite the increase in beach time since the move to HI.

-Foundation, cosmetic sponges, shadow brushes, brow brush

-Tweezerman- truly the best most precise grip ever, well worth the extra money.

-Eyelash curler-I once read that if you have no time for any other make-up, curling eyelashes and adding mascara has the most impact, and I'm a firm believer. Your eyes look so much bigger with a nice fan of lashes.

-Eyeshadow-I love purples and golds with my green eyes.

-Highlighting powder (cool way to eliminate dark spots or shadows, learned during that What Not to Wear binge I'd rather not recall in too much detail.)

-Instant up-do hair pins worn after our wedding ceremony for reception and now used to keep hair off neck in humid Hawaiian weather.

-Four lipsticks: nude, red, raspberry and pink- I'd love to add one of those very vivid peachy colors for spring- does anyone have a favorite to suggest?

-File, cuticle stick, nail scissors

-Peach Fuzz Trimmer(a brilliant invention for those witch whiskers that really do seem to grow in overnight from nowhere) and brow attachments

mascara, mineral blush and bronzer brush

Whew! I'm proud to say that even with all these goodies in my bag of tricks, it takes me less than five minutes to do my makeup each day. Do you have any favorites in your make up bag? What is your best make-up tip?

Taking Journaling from Overwhelming to Inspiring

I've kept notebooks for organizational purposes since I was in gradeschool. I'm a compulsive list maker and I liked keeping them all in one place. But this summer, while purging for our move to Hawaii, I came upon a box packed with list notebooks. They had become a burden instead of a tool. I tore out pages where I was reflecting instead of listing, and tossed the rest. It felt great.

Since then, I've switched to making my obsessive lists on post-its that I toss at the end of the day. I think of it as tossing out the day's worries and cares. I'm striving to fill my journals with thoughts instead of to-dos. It's harder but more inspiring.

I've developed a ritual each night before bed. First, I sketch what I wore that day- juvenile but gratifying because it's about celebrating what I have. Then, I jot down what I ate that day- I've read that a food diary helps one maintain weight by making one more conscious of what one is eating. (Put good in, get good out, right?) And finally I write down one beautiful thing that I noticed, did or felt greatful for. Sometimes it's just a sentence or two and sometimes it turns into an outpouring of thoughts and feelings in a great wonderful tangle.

I wouldn't mind coming across a box full of beauty and gratitude years from now.

I don't get to my journal every night, but I try to be kind to myself and jump back in as soon as I can. I'd like to take it further by jotting down things as they happen throughout the day- I think it would be great fodder as a writer and artist because so many of those quick flashes of thought are lost by the end of the day. I keep my notebook stashed in my handbag just in case, but I haven't yet developed a good habit of pulling it out as something occurs to me.

What about you? Do you keep a journal? Do you have a ritual of your own? Do you refer back to your thoughts, or is the act of writing enough?

P.S) I've included this photo of all my beautiful blank journals to inpire myself to keep writing (I have all those lovely pages to fill!) and also as a reminder that I don't need any more until those are bursting at the seams with thoughts and ideas!